The mind in meditation can operate under different laws than it does outside of meditation. There are many meditation instructions which actually originate outside of meditation and therefore cannot take into account how the mind functions within meditation. It is like someone learning English using the grammatical rules of Sanskrit or Chinese, trying to arrange words into meaningful sentences by using logical formulae that should make sense, but instead produce nonsensical statements. As such, these instructions appear to be logical and consistent with how we commonly view the mind, though they are full of contradictions when applied to meditation.
The only way to test what I have to say in this article is by experimentation, which is a perfectly valid way to get to the truth about anything.
We begin with the instruction, "be aware of the breath." Unfortunately, this instruction has to be elaborated on to be used, and much of that elaboration has come from outside of meditation. There are many instructions that sound right for observing the breath, and of those, the ones that involve some sort of technique (or concentration exercise) are the most hostile to the natural functioning of our minds in meditation.
Counting the breath, for instance, meets so much resistance from our naturally roaming mind, that we generally end up berating our bad habits of thinking too much when we repeatedly fail to go from one to five and back again without a break in our concentration. Noticing the smooth rise and fall of the abdomen as we breath naturally, supposedly without forcing our attention or altering our breath, rarely results in the all too desired sharp awareness and tranquility it is supposed to offer, yielding up one surge after another of agitation, self-hatred, frustration. What is prescribed in such a venerable way as a relaxant for the mind is none other than an outsider's brilliant idea of how the beginning meditator's mind should function if only it could be trained to conform to the instructions that are being applied.
Some of you may prefer this approach of getting your mind to do what it is "supposed to" as the focus of your meditation practice. This activity in itself can consume much of your energy in meditation, and while not leaving room for much else, it does create enough inner strife for you to work even harder for that precious inner peace that comes when all the thinking stops, the gross emotions dissipate, and the smooth flow of the breath is soothing and timeless. When the mind is finally subdued, then what?For many this becomes a memory they continue to strive to recapture over and over again through the same means of battling the mind.
A question I asked myself when I had had enough of trying to corral and subdue my mind in meditation was, "How can the mind become sharply aware and tranquil through peaceful means?" In asking this question, I then understood that I had not understood meditation, in the sense that I did not believe in the possibility that the roaming mind could lead me to the still and peaceful mind. I had taken on the belief that these were two separate and unrelated experiences of mind, one being far more preferable than the other.
Many years down the road of meditating through primarily peaceful means (those old habits of bullying come to the fore on occasion) have taught me a few things about instructions that arise during meditation. One thing is that meditation instructions that come from inside meditation are not logical and do not conform to common views of how the mind works. Another thing is that they are context-oriented and do not have universal applications.
What do I mean by instructions coming from inside of meditation? Simply that. That the meditation sittings become about being sensitive to your present state of mind, listening to it with a compassionate and understanding ear, following its course while allowing it to lead, and surrendering to whatever new experience it lands upon. Our minds are telling us many things when we meditate, and not all of it is useless chatter, fantasies, daydreams, and desires. At times, while meditating, we are learning from our meditation experience how to meditate.
These inside instructions are not logical; they are intuitive, based on being honestly aware of what you are experiencing. They cannot be applied universally, as they only relate to particular experiences. Thus you cannot discover an instruction from within meditation and then turn it into a technique for everyone to use. It may work once or twice or even a few more times, but then you find yourself back again trying to follow one particular instruction, ignoring what your mind can tell you about itself in meditation.
So I will not give you any instructions, but I will briefly outline an approach to meditation. Just sit still, comfortably. There is the stillness of the body sitting and there is the moving of attention. Let your attention go where it will and notice when you try to avoid your thoughts, feelings, and urges, but do nothing about it. Just sit still and let your mind be as it is. Slowly and gently, over several sittings, cultivate a preference for the stillness of your body over the moving of your mind. A preference is not a wish, and it certainly is not aggressive and forceful; it is allowing your mind to be filled with thoughts, lazy or indifferent, restless, worried, and agitated, while preferring the awareness of your body sitting still. This is not about sticking with the body, or about following the breath, but about showing preference for the still and tranquil part of your experience while allowing all of the rest to continue uninterrupted. These are not really instructions: this is only a way to frame, to approach, the primary meditation experience, without adding anything new to it, except for the one gentle preference.